Reflections

Well, we are fastly approaching Lyla's 1st birthday!  I can't believe it's so soon already!  Since it is coming up, I figured I would take time before the celebrations to reflect on her 1st year of life.  Many of you have gone through this journey alongside us and know much of her story.

This time last year we were anxiously awaiting the arrival of our baby girl.  I think this might actually be the day I sliced my finger on a can (which is still half numb) and needed 2 stitches.  While in many ways it's easy to move on and 'forget' the hardship that we went through, the emotions and memories are still fully engraved in my mind.  I will never forget the absolute devastation as we learned our baby girl needed heart surgery at birth.  I didn't think I would ever stop crying.  Thankfully, God had placed us in an area where she and I could receive the best care possible.

I was prepared up to a certain point for Lyla's birth.  I knew all the details, I knew what would happen after she was born.  But when I actually stopped to think about what Lyla being born would put into motion, I was terrified.  Even thinking about it now, I'm crying because those emotions are branded on my heart.  While we knew God was in control, it was astonishing to watch how He would answer every single prayer we prayed, and even ones we hadn't thought to pray!  Never have I felt the presence of God so fully or completely as I did then.

Even though God had faithfully answered our prayers through her birth and surgery, it was so easy to doubt at the first sign that something might not be right.  After her surgery as we waited to see her, her surgeon was paged to the CICU.  My human nature kicked in and I started panicking, wondering what had gone wrong and if our baby girl was ok.  She was fine, the wrong machine had been ordered for a test and they wanted to see what the surgeon wanted to do.  I feel like people sometimes think that I'm some extra faith-filled person to have gotten through this.  I actually feel the exact opposite!  I feel and felt so weak and human and like I would never have enough faith to get through the first few weeks of Lyla's life!

To many, we have been through a lot in the past year, and we have.  But as we sat in the CICU, and as we now continue to hear stories of others, we know that there are many others much worse off.  Our baby girl will only require 1 heart surgery in her life (hopefully).  She was only in the CICU for 11 days before coming home.  Her recovery lasted about 8 weeks.  Her growth and development have not been affected by her condition.  For sure, it was the absolute hardest thing I've ever had to personally go through, but we have so much to be thankful for!  We have an amazing, beautiful daughter who is healthy and growing into an incredible little person!  I have said many times, I would never have chosen to go through something like this, nor do I ever hope to go through it again, but I honestly wouldn't trade it for the world.

We are eternally grateful to everyone who covered us in prayer and encouragement this past year...we couldn't have made it through without your support!  We are so much more equipped to encourage others because of what you've done :-)  Our journey with Lyla's health is not yet over.  As you know, there are still concerns that are being closely followed.  If only I could see this day a year ago, I could have faced her surgery much differently.  It is easy to look forward and move past what happened.  I can't wait to explain to Lyla time and time again how awesome it is that she has that scar!  I can't wait for her to find the Savior who so graciously spared her life!  Her scar is a constant reminder of all that God has done in her life.  More than anything I praise the God of the universe who saw fit to look down and answer our prayers and spare the life of our precious daughter!   I am so unworthy!  And yet He has used this experience time and time again for His glory :-)

Please remember our story, friends, when facing something unexpected and maybe unpleasant.  We do not serve a statue or a dead person, but a living GOD who watches over us all!  He is faithful and sovereign in all situations, even if we can't see it from where we stand.  His purpose in our life is so much greater than our own.  Praise be to God for He has done great things!

Hooray!

It continues that we have so much to be thankful for!  Last week was a busy week, but overall a really good one :-)  On Monday, Peter and I had the level 2 ultrasound for baby boy.  As we expected, there are no other concerns!  He's a healthy, active little boy!  I can't wait to meet him :-)  Peter's parents came to watch Lyla which was awesome.  Lyla had a great time with them and we were able to enjoy some extra time with them as well :-)

Thursday was Lyla's MRI.  Again, it was no fun watching her get sedated or waking up from the anesthesia.  It took her about an hour to fully come back to normal, but thankfully she doesn't seem to have any adverse reactions to the anesthesia.  She was able to keep the milk and juice down and we came home with a tipsy baby.  We were finally able to hear the results from the MRI today.  Praise God!  Our cardiologist started by saying that she was encouraged by the results!  Her heart is pumping normally, the thickness of the right side hasn't increased so isn't a problem, the pulmonary arteries are still narrowed (as is expected) but have grown since the last MRI, and the blood flow to both of her lungs is equal!  It was awesome hearing that news!  The fact that the arteries are growing means that they are pushing off the catheterization almost indefinitely!  Hopefully they will continue to keep up with her as she grows and won't be a problem :-)  The only other thing they're keeping an eye on is the pulmonary valve which is leaking, but not a major issue at this time.  They only want to see us back in 6-8 months!

I just feel so relieved that so many things that we've been worried about have been put to rest and God is being so gracious to us!  It's a huge burden lifted to know our baby boy is healthy and that Lyla is doing so awesome!

Please continue to pray for a lot of decisions that Peter and I will need to make in the next months.  We know that God is faithful and will provide a clear path for us!  Thank you friends!  We would not have gotten this far without your faithful prayers!

Lots to be thankful for!

Our hearts are full of praise this week as we continue to thank God for His goodness!  We were able to have the fetal echo done on Tuesday and everything looked great!  It was nice to have Lyla's cardiologist be the one we had the consult with as well :-)  It was like a weight was lifted off our chest as we heard the news that the heart looks great and everything is on the correct side!  The tech showed us the stomach and I asked her which side it was on.  She just looked at me like I was crazy and said, "The stomach is on the left."  :-)  Not that the situs inversus is a problem, but now we know that we don't have to worry about anything!  Our level 2 ultrasound is on Monday, but we're really not expecting them to find anything else wrong.  Oh and did I mention...we're having a BOY!!!  That was the icing to the cake :-)

Also, I just got off the phone with the MRI scheduling department for Lyla's cardiac MRI.  Her appointment is set for next Thursday, May 2 at 10:30.  Please pray for all to go well as she will be sedated and intubated for the test.  I'm already a mess...it was hard watching her wake up last time and now she's older and more aware.  We continue to thank you all for your prayers as we continue on this journey with our baby girl.  It has been a long road and yet we have seen  God's faithfulness in every step!

Easter :-)

So, I guess I kind of forgot about Easter in being amazed that Lyla is 10 months old :-)  We had a great weekend with family back in Lebanon!  Lyla had her 1st Easter egg hunt (meaning we put eggs in front of her with puffs :-).  She still plays with an Easter egg that made it home with us.  She got to wear her bunny tutu on Sunday as well :-)  It will be exciting when she's older to be able to explain why we celebrate Easter and all the things her Savior has done for her, and the world!

We had her cardiologist appointment today that went as well as expected.  Everything looks the same, which is always a good thing!  She was not so fond of the echo today...being held down is no fun.  It took both Peter and I to restrain her, and even then with all the screaming, the tech couldn't get the pictures he needed.  It was a long day.  They are looking to schedule the MRI in the next few weeks to get a better look at the pulmonary arteries again.  We were expecting that to be done this summer, but I guess they felt like it needed to be moved up.  After that, Lyla's team of doctors will discuss what steps to take next.  The cardiologist wasn't concerned about Lyla's growth and didn't think that her heart has anything to do with how small she is :-)

Another good thing about our visit today, they told us we could go in for our fetal echo as soon as possible!  They actually said that they see patients between 13-14 weeks and then again between 18-20.  So, we kind of missed the first one, but oh well :-)  So, I was able to schedule that appointment for April 23.  Please be praying for peace and accuracy of the test!  It will be a relief to not have to wait longer to see if there are any heart problems!  God is good and we keep trusting Him with this new baby :-)

10 months!

Lyla is 10 months old today!  She has been so happy today which is making it a joy to celebrate with her today :-)  We started the day by going to her follow up weight check with the doctor.  Thankfully, she gained 10 oz since her last check up!  Even though this only puts her in the 3rd percentile for weight, her doctor is completely happy with how she looks and the fact that she's gained weight.  We see the cardiologist on Wednesday, so it will be interesting to get their input as well.

We continue to fall in love with Lyla more and more every day!  She is such a blessing in our life and we can't stop praising God for the wonderful gift that she is to us :-)  This little girl doesn't like to stay still!  She is far more interested in everything else in the house than her own toys.  She likes to go to the steps and play peek-a-boo around the banister with us.  Her new favorite place is the kitchen...I guess simply because we don't allow her in there often :-)

Baby Rauch #2 is also doing well :-)  I got to hear the little heartbeat at my OB appointment!  It's the best noise in the whole world!  We go to the high risk doctor on April 29 for a level 2 ultrasound and anatomy scan.  We are excited to see if Lyla will have a little brother or sister :-)  From there, they will refer us to the cardiologist for a fetal echo.  We're still praying believing that this baby is completely healthy and no other problems are present!

I'll update again after our cardiologist visit on Wednesday.  We should be discussing the possibility of another MRI this summer for Lyla to again monitor how her narrowed pulmonary arteries are holding up.  Pray for wisdom for the doctors that they take the right actions at the right time.  Pray for peace as we wait for these last procedures to be scheduled.  And please pray for baby #2 as we wait anxiously to see if everything is ok :-)

9 months!

Our baby is 9 months old!!!  It's crazy!  We were just talking about it the other day and really can't remember our lives before Lyla.  In the scheme of things, being married for 4 years, 9 months really isn't that long.  Yet, this little girl has forever changed our hearts :-)  Lyla is so active these days!  She is crawling everywhere, chasing kitties, pulling herself up on everything, and making us realize how many things we need to put away :-)

She responds to "no" as well.  Even before we have to say it, if she knows we've said it before, she'll look back at us to see what we're going to do.  It's crazy how soon you can see the sinful nature coming out in children!  She throws tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants.  She is a sinful being and I pray every day that she will come to know the Lord - the One who saved her life from the beginning.

She has been sick the past few days...leading to us having to clean up the biggest mess she's ever made on Sunday!  We were heading out for lunch and hear the grossest noise, and all of her lunch came up in the car :-(  Poor baby.  Yesterday was her scheduled 9 month pediatrician appointment, so I figured she could get looked at then.  Hopefully we are past the worst!

At our appointment yesterday, the doctor said she looks great!  The only thing they're a little concerned about is her weight since she's steadied off, and now losing weight since December/January.  I have to start supplementing soy milk and try upping the amount of solid food she gets.  Hopefully, by our follow up appointment in a month, she will gain some weight.  I'm really hoping that it's just because my milk supply has gone down due to being pregnant.  Hopefully with the added soy milk she'll be getting all that she needs.  Please pray that it is nothing more!!  The cardiologist is keeping a close eye on her growth since it can be tied to her heart.  Our next appointment with them is April 17.  We're hoping to get a clean bill of health heart-wise.

Again, please pray that Lyla gains weight, and that we will know when to be concerned or when it's just her growing and moving a lot.  She could just be a small baby!  But we definitely can't over look the heart factor in all of this.

Surprise!

Well...God continues to show us that His plan is so much better than our own!  We found out late in January that we are expecting a baby brother or sister for Lyla in September!  We were definitely not expecting or planning this, but clearly God had other plans :-)  And we are completely ok with that!  After a long road trying to get pregnant with Lyla, this is such a blessing that God has chosen to give us.  It definitely complicates some decisions we are making, but we are trusting still that God's plan is always better than our own.

Along with the excitement of expecting this new baby comes some fears as well.  As it is so close to Lyla's birth and complicated situation, everything is still so fresh in our mind about what we went through with her.  It is easy to fear that we possibly could have to go through that again.  It's crazy right???  We just had an awesome chance to see how amazingly God answers prayers and is faithful to us...and yet I can doubt?  I often have to dwell on what we went through simply to remind myself of all the blessings we received this past year. And also, knowing that if this baby has complications, that God will once again get us through that as well.

Most people are wondering what the chances of having another heart baby is.  We have been told that the chances are exactly what they are for everyone else.  We don't have a higher chance of another heart defect.  However, my doctors are taking precautions and are sending me to a high risk doctor for consultation along with my anatomy scan.  From there, they will refer us to the cardiologist for a fetal echo.  Our main prayer is that this baby is healthy and strong.

Please pray with us for the development of this baby and for peace for Peter and I as we wait to see if there are any complications.  Pray for wisdom as we look to relocate sometime this year...should we move before or after baby?  Pray for a job for Peter when the time comes (and also, for what that time is :-), as well as a location to move to.  Lots to consider!!  We are trying our best to rest in the knowledge that God already has everything planned out and we just need to trust that He will lead us there when the time is right :-)  I'm glad to share our excitement with you!